Smith, Effie Waller
|THE "BACHELOR GIRL."|
She's no "old maid," she's not afraid
To let you know she's her own "boss,"
She's easy pleased, she's not diseased,
She is not nervous, is not cross.
She's no desire whatever for
Mrs. to precede her name,
The blessedness of singleness
She all her life will proudly claim.
She does not sit around and knit
On baby caps and mittens,
She does not play her time away
With puggy dogs and kittens.
And if a mouse about the house
She sees, she will not jump and scream;
Of handsome beaux and billet doux
The "bachelor girl" does never dream.
She does not puff and frizz and fluff
Her hair, nor squeeze and pad her form.
With painted face, affected grace,
The "bachelor girl" ne'er seeks to charm.
She reads history, biography,
Tales of adventure far and near,
On sea or land, but poetry and
Love stories rarely interest her.
She's lots of wit, and uses it,
Of "horse sense," too, she has a store;
50The latest news she always knows,
She scans the daily papers o'er.
Of politics and all the tricks
And schemes that politicians use,
She knows full well and she can tell
With eloquence of them her views.
An athlete that's hard to beat
The "bachelor girl" surely is,
When playing games she makes good aims
And always strictly minds her "biz."
Amid the hurry and the flurry
Of this life she goes alone,
No matter where you may see her
She seldom has a chaperon.
But when you meet her on the street
At night she has a "32,"
And she can shoot you, bet your boots,
When necessity demands her to.
Her heart is kind and you will find
Her often scattering sunshine bright
Among the poor, and she is sure
To always advocate the right.
On her pater and her mater
For her support she does not lean,
She talks and writes of "Woman's Rights"
In language forceful and clean.
She does not shirk, but does her work,
51Amid the world's fast hustling whirl,
And come what may, she's here to stay,
The self-supporting "bachelor girl."